


Goats and Carrots (Go Together Like A House On Fire)

by NoahLikesHummus



Series: Goats and Carrots [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: (see end notes), Character Death, Crack Treated Seriously, Nelliel/Nel is Asexual, and chaotic, author hasn't read bleach since it finished, but also not really, but does play Brave Souls and pretends to know what they're talking about, but it's Bleach so???, caffeine may have had a hand in the plot, ichigo and nel become bffs, ichigo raises his sisters, ichigo's soul is complicated, inspired by a variety of mythos from all over, isshin is not a good parent, masaki was badass, mentioned abuse and neglect, nel is awesome big sis, no beta we die like men, now that's serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 18:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17370758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoahLikesHummus/pseuds/NoahLikesHummus
Summary: After tragedy strikes, Nelliel is on a super epic fantasy adventure to regain her former power, with the help of an adorable and protective orange haired almost-twelve year old. Who happens to be spiritually aware. And not completely human.Spoilers: It's Ichigo.





	Goats and Carrots (Go Together Like A House On Fire)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm using this series as a bit of writing practice. The ideas I have for it are weird, random and a bit on the crack-ish side of things. Originally, I was going to make this a multi-chapter story, but then realised that I would have been juggling too many perspectives that don't necessarily connect together all at once.  
> Also writing oneshots is fun.
> 
> Enjoy!

Masaki Kurosaki may be young, especially in comparison to the Soul Reaper and Shopkeeper, but that does not mean she is naïve. In this world there is no such thing as doing a simple favour or lending a hand. There is always an ulterior motive.

Sure, more common than not that motive is the joy or thrill one feels at giving, but it is still done with the desire of self-gratification. Thus, an ulterior motive, albeit a harmless one.

Kisuke Urahara and Isshin Shiba did not save her with such an intent. What they want, she doesn’t know.

She goes along with it, anyway. With nowhere else to go and no one to turn to, she doesn’t have much of a choice. Her and Isshin dance the dance of romance, and for a while she believes that perhaps, whatever lies ahead won’t necessarily be a terrible thing.

Isshin is a bit of an oddball, for lack of better word. He has a goofy grin, is joyous in his lack of knowledge in the Living World, and while Masaki doesn’t learn to love it, it is a near thing.

Time passes, and while she can never forget how she met this man, she convinces herself that whatever game the Soul Reaper and Shopkeeper are playing, the Shopkeeper is the one with the mind. Thinking like that, it makes her think that one day she could truly love Isshin.

Her husband is many things, a liar is not one of them.

Then she falls pregnant. There is another living being growing insider of her, a mixture of reiatsu that swirls around in her stomach with a physical form. Quincy, Soul Reaper, Hollow. A soul so strained it has broken before it even had the chance to truly _be_. The perfect weapon, she thinks.

Oh.

That just won’t do.

Isshin begins to loom over her shoulder, excited beyond belief. Masaki wonders if it’s at the thought of a child, or the thought of the creation the Soul Reaper and Shopkeeper expertly crafted. It’s as though a veil has been lifted, and the motives behind all of Isshin’s behaviours change.

So this is the ulterior motive.

With Isshin always around, it is difficult to do anything drastic. To seek out the help she begins to feel she desperately needs, especially in the months (years) to come.

Masaki is young, not naïve. She does not lack intelligence, despite lacking a higher education, and she is as cunning as the fox that sneaks around the streets. She feeds the creature, and in exchange it teaches her how to observe, to manipulate unnoticed, and to listen.

And do those things she does. She starts small, asking a question here or there, noticing the way Isshin laughs and scoffs at certain things when he stumbles across them. Then, she steps things up, bringing home small gizmos and gadgets, charms from the local shrine among them. She then takes Isshin to the shrine, to celebrate and make offerings.

Her husband goes through the motions with her, humouring. He does not suspect, so she sends a silent prayer to any and all gods that may be listening to protect her child from what is to come.

Isshin does not believe that there is anything out there but his own afterlife.

Masaki knows otherwise.

* * *

‘What’s this?’ She asks the fox, hands gently curling around the hairpin in wonder. It is a simple thing, a strange red feather attached to a bobby pin. Simple, elegant, but with far more to it than anything the eye can see.

The fox shifts on its hind legs, nudging its glasses with a front paw. ‘A gift.’

‘That’s… thank you.’ Masaki says. ‘But, why? It seems to be a very valuable treasure.’

‘With time, the feather will find its way back to me.’ The fox explains. ‘You have given me offerings, then kindness and friendship. Many forget the existence of my kind, but despite being of _their_ kind, you have not abandoned the history of the lands. I am not the only one who appreciates your sincerity.’

‘You’re not the only one?’ Masaki wonders.

Tentatively, the fox places a paw on her rounded stomach. ‘Nay, though I must admit the one to take notice is not…’ It pauses, face scrunching up. ‘Our kinds do not get along well.’

‘Oh.’

* * *

Things progress after that. After Ichigo, Masaki has two more children. Twins. Isshin isn’t involved much in raising his eldest, but when it comes to the twins he puts in a little more effort. It doesn’t change how she feels about him, something close to love but never quite reaching it. The ulterior motive is still there, a weight on her shoulders that will never leave.

Besides, seeing the way Isshin interacts with the children, she wonders if she would have ever been able to love him anyway.

Sometimes, she wonders if he truly believes what he feels for her is love.

‘Soul Reapers are rather simple-minded creatures.’ The fox says. ‘Despite what they may like to believe, they are no less hollow then the beings they call such, merely in different ways. It would be easy for their own brain to deceive itself.’

* * *

‘I never asked, Mr. Fox. What’s your name?’

‘I cannot answer that, names hold power.’

‘Oh…’

‘I am rather fond of the name you have chosen for me, however.’

‘It’s not very creative.’

‘It doesn’t need to be.’

* * *

Her son is eight years old when she finds him playing with Karin’s hair accessories. He is flustered, nervous, as though having been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. This isn’t the first time he has been caught in such a situation.

Last time, Isshin was the one to find him. Her baby already has a broken soul, he never deserved to have a broken heart on top of that. Especially not because of something so simplistic as being caught admiring feminine clothing.

Masaki needs to show Ichigo that it doesn’t matter how he dresses or acts, that he can be whoever he wants to be. She tells him as much, pulling him into a hug and whispering soft reassurances. But she also has to tell him that Isshin can’t know, because he won’t understand.

Her son takes in her every word, understanding. Unbidden, the gift from the fox comes to mind. The perfect present.

‘I have something for you.’

When Ichigo cradles the hairpin, his eyes light up like the sun.

* * *

It’s only a few months later and her son is nine years old, the twins only five, when she realises the end is near. Things have been too calm lately, and she has become too complacent in her motherly role to recognise the immediate danger her son is in.

Before she realises it, the bait has been set, ready to lure her pure, innocent Ichigo to his death. Masaki won’t let the Hollow take her son. She won’t go down without a fight, either, despite knowing she will face defeat.

The last thought she has before being consumed is; _thank the gods the damn thing didn’t take my son with me._

Masaki Kurosaki may have been young, but that didn’t make her any less of a badass.

* * *

Nel knows that she was someone else _before_. Before the endless sand. Before the hollows that are so, so much more powerful than her even though somewhere buried deep within, she knows she should be able to do more than watch as her friends protect her.

The first time since she awoke feeling weak, confused and oh so fragile, and found her friends fighting off other Hollows to protect her, she cries. She cries and cries and _cries._ Because she doesn’t know these people, not really, but there’s a large, gaping hole in her Hollow soul that screams and protests.

_You guys shouldn’t be fighting!_ It says. _Not for me, never for me. I should be the one protecting you!_

But that part of her soul is old and tired, weakened by the trickery and wrath of the soldiers she fought side by side with, in a war she never wanted to be part of. That part of her soul retreats, hiding away even when it almost thinks it could emerge. Being young and naïve is far easier than to face the ruthlessness of the world. Her soul knows that, allows her to forget it all.

Pesche and Dondochakka both know this. They know that their Nelliel is finally able to escape the pressure and hardships that come with being an Espada. Before Aizen, their Nelliel as a Hollow was young and naïve. An anomaly among their kind.

Above all else, she was a pacifist, unwilling to lay a hand on even the worst of the worst. It made her many enemies, and two loyal friends.

But when Aizen came to take the throne, their Nelliel was pulled into a battle she never wanted to fight. But she did, because far more than her desire to do no harm, she wanted to protect the two friends she had found in this world of sand and slaughter.

That was never what Pesche and Dondochakka wanted for her.

So when they are betrayed and thrown out, their masks broken in a way that does not signify evolution and their reiatsu escaping through the gaps, they decide to begin anew.

And when their Nelliel awakens, memory replaced by a childish curiosity long thought to have been extinguished, well, that makes things even easier.

The three of them make a game of the horrific afterlife they live, mixing chasey and hide and seek amidst other children’s games to keep Nel safe and happy. Eternal Tag, they call it. It might not be much, in this endless desert of hollows, but seeing Nel smiling is more than enough for all of them.

* * *

Of course, things like that never last. Pesche would like to think it’s the calm before the storm, of sorts. But there is no calm, only chaos and bloodshed and pain. Nnoitra found them.

Dondochakka thinks the situation was inevitable, as both he and his brother-in-all-but-soul fight to protect their master. Neither of them can hold their own against the fifth Espada, but that doesn’t mean they won’t hold him off long enough for their Nel to escape.

(Both Pesche and Dondochakka don’t dare to think about how easy it would be for Nel to be caught.)

Nel doesn’t run, she can’t. Her friends are fighting off this familiar-stranger and they don’t stand a chance. She can’t do anything, despite how much she tries to reach deep down into the part of her soul that, in the past, had fought against this familiar-stranger time and time again and _won._

In the end, it isn’t a just-in-the-nick-of-time magical powerup that saves Nel, but her two friends who drag her away with all their combined strength and speed. They escape, just barely, and even she can sense that the familiar-stranger isn’t far away.

They don’t have much time, and Pesche and Dondochakka both know that this is the end of their journey. But… it doesn’t have to be for Nel.

‘Listen, Nel.’ Pesche says, bringing his master into his arms. ‘Keep playing Eternal Tag, okay? And all those other games too. And when you come across any big mean Hollows or even Soul Reapers, give them a huge smile, but try not to mess with them too much. You’ve gotta keep on having fun!’

‘Y-yeah!’ Dondochakka agrees. ‘Keep laughing too!’

Nel tries to say something, but Pesche just squeezes her tighter to his chest. He shares a look with Dondochakka, to make sure they’re both on the same page. He needn’t have. They always are.

And then they both shove themselves down Nel’s throat. She may be an Arrancar, but her origins as a Hollow are not to be forgotten.

* * *

Nelliel’s eyes snap open just in time to kick Nnoitra in the face. She’s panting, eyes wide and she shouldn’t be able to cry, but there are tears streaming down her face. Hollows don’t cry. Then again, she was never much of a Hollow to begin with.

She wants to fight. To scream and lash out and let the violent, bloodthirsty part of her nature run rampant against this absolute monster that keeps on coming back to hurt her again and again. But there isn’t enough time. The reiatsu given to her by her friends is still leaking through the cracks in her mask, and if she doesn’t act now, their sacrifices will have been in vain.

She knocks Nnoitra as far away as she can, before opening a Garganta and fleeing to the Living World.

* * *

At the burst of Arrancar reiatsu entering Karakura, Kisuke chokes on his tea. It’s far too early for Aizen to be making any moves- and now it’s gone.

He looks to Tessai before shrugging. Oh well. 

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo is eleven years old, twelve in five days’ time. He has two younger sisters that he loves more than anything in the world (and would protect no matter the cost), a father that thinks kicking him in the face is a good alarm and really hasn’t done anything to earn the title ‘dad’ (which hurts so damn much), the local branch of Yakuza worshiping the ground he walks on (which, woah, what?), the title of ‘delinquent’ (he is not! Okay… maybe a little) and the spirits he speaks to on a daily basis.

None of these things are new to Ichigo.

What is new, however, is the crying child in his room with a strange cracked mask atop her head. The child can’t be older than five, despite having appeared to be an adult when she first appeared, and the sniffling and snuffling sets off every parental instinct Ichigo has developed raising his sisters.

(What? His father spends most of his time in the clinic, and when Isshin’s not there he’s busy attacking Ichigo, criticising the twins and thinking that the food magically appeared on the table, even after Masaki, the mother of his children, died.

Ichigo used to wonder how his father could be so close minded, but he doesn’t really care about that anymore. Now he just wants to know why his mum married the man. Which he will never know anytime soon, because she’s dead.

Not that Ichigo can’t speak to the dead, but he has this nagging feeling that his mum was eaten by another spirit, which isn’t something someone can come back from. Hopefully Masaki gave the monster indigestion.

She probably did, his mum was awesome like that.)

Being a big brother and parental figure of two, Ichigo doesn’t even think about the consequences or potential dangers and jumps out of bed, pulling the strange crying child into a hug. He traces patterns on the girl’s back with steady fingers, and with each stroke he weaves an unspoken promise. _It’s okay. You’re safe. I’ll help you. I’ll protect you._

It’s what he does with Yuzu and Karin, and it works wonders with them.

After a few minutes of silence, the spirit (because the child _has_ to be a spirit) looks up at him. Her eyes are watery, hollow and old in a way that eyes should never, ever be. It’s terrifying, reminding Ichigo of the monster that killed his mum, and for a single second all he wants to do is grab his sisters and run away, never looking back.

But there is a spark in those hollow eyes. Powerlessness and determination, accompanied by hope.

And in no matter what universe or timeline, Kurosaki Ichigo is always destined to become a protector. One that always keeps his promises.

‘Do ‘wou mean i’wt?’ The girl asks.

Ichigo wonders how she understood the promises he traced into her skin, but that doesn’t matter, not really. He nods. ‘Yeah. I meant it.’

* * *

The strange human-but-not child, Ichigo, doesn’t seem to know how to help her, despite his promise. But he vowed to stay by her side and has snuck away from his home to come with her, and that is more than Nelliel could have asked for.

In this form she is weak and defenceless, a child in all but mind, no matter how much she wishes she could just go back to being Nel. After Nnoitra’s latest attack, there is no going back. No hope for her to be a child in the war that is on the horizon. No, she needs to be Nelliel, former Espada number three. She needs the power she once had, so that she can live on and find something worth living for.

There are voices in her head, and because Nelliel is well aware of what happens to the souls a Hollow devours, she is unsurprised. They say to keep on going, that they’re proud of her and any decision she may make from now on.

And as Ichigo carries her through the darkened streets, as though he has wandered alone at night many times before, unflinching even when she tells him of her own horrific deeds as Aizen’s soldier, those same two voices say that; _this kid, stay with him._

She brushes a hand over the strange feathered hair pin in Ichigo’s hair. ‘I think I will.’

* * *

Ichigo adjusts Nelliel on his back. He has no idea where they’re going and doubts the girl does either, but there’s a strange line of light, glowing lightly like a trail of stardust, and he figures that’s as good a place to start as any.

Besides, after Nelliel’s story, glowing stardust telling him to go somewhere is the least worrisome thing that has happened. Aizen, on the other hand… if that man-death god?- whatever- ever comes to Karakura, well, Ichigo doesn’t quite know what he’ll be able to do to protect his sisters…

(In the Soul Society, surrounded by paperwork and plotting out a nefarious plan, Aizen sneezes. The movement of the sneeze jerks his body, spilling the ink pot on his desk, destroying all his hard work.

Somewhere in the room, Gin laughs his arse off.

Aizen vows revenge, though he isn’t quite sure why.)

…best not think about it.

Ichigo’s passenger mumbles something tiredly into his shoulder.

‘Sorry?’

Nelliel snuggles closer into him. ‘Is not’w’in’, Itsugo.’ She says. ‘Tha’s a pwetty hair cwip.’

Ichigo flushes slightly. He’d put it back in his hair right before climbing out the window. He knows it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but words hurt and the other kids at school have left him feeling a tiny bit self-aware about it. Just another thing to tease him about, amidst everything else.

But Nelliel complimented it. Awesome.

‘My mum gave it to me.’ Ichigo tells her. ‘Before she died… she found me playing with my sister’s hairclips, and she gave it to me ‘cause she thought red was more my colour.’ He pauses, but when he finds Nelliel paying rapt attention, he continues; ‘Mum used to tell me she got the feather from a fox that used to come around the house, but I think I scared it off... She said that it would help me one day when I needed it.’

Ichigo remembers that day well. He’d been hiding out in his sister’s room, trying out the variety of Karin’s hair accessories that she never really cared about, and he’d been so happy! And he’d also been a bit scared, because ‘boys aren’t supposed to be girly, Ichigo! You gotta be a man!’ He hadn’t wanted his father to catch him red handed for a second time.

In the end it was mum that found him, and she’d given him a big smile before declaring she had something that would suit him _perfectly_. The feathered hairpin is one of Ichigo’s most prized possessions, and at the time he had wanted to parade around the neighbourhood to show off his treasure to the world.

But his mum had said no, to keep it hidden. Because Isshin wouldn’t _understand_. And Ichigo hadn’t understood what she meant, because despite pervious reactions, surely his father wouldn’t dislike something so awesome and beautiful, right?

Wrong.

Ichigo still remembers being called a wussy, momma’s girly-boy. He thinks that was the day Isshin was demoted from dad to father.

Then a year later, his mum died. Isshin, while once strange and absent, became something else entirely and Ichigo was left to pick up the pieces with his sisters. It took him awhile, but when he realised that his father wasn’t going to stop the good morning kicks, or take into consideration the twins, Ichigo put on the hairpin and stood proud, ignored Isshin’s comments, and dodged for the very first time.

And two months after that, six year old Yuzu and Karin came down stairs for dinner, both grinning from ear to ear for the first time since the family had lost what made it whole. Yuzu was wearing a beautiful blue dress, one their mum once claimed was for Karin despite knowing that even at a young age, Karin would never wear the thing.

Their mum probably knew Yuzu would dig it out one day, she knew lots of things like that.

Isshin looked scandalised, just about ready to open his mouth and say something that would hurt the twins. Unfortunately for him (and very, _very_ fortunately for the siblings), his eldest son was faster.

That was the first time Ichigo ever used his fist against his father.

* * *

The first entity they meet on their trail of stardust is a fox. Ichigo thinks he should be surprised by the animal standing on its hind legs, wearing glasses and smiling all too knowingly, but well, he’s seen ghosts for as long as he can remember, so.

Not much of a surprise.

He can’t help but think the fox looks a lot like the one he scared away, and wonders if it might be the same one.

Nelliel, on the other hand, is amazed.

‘Ooooh!’ She says, and no matter how hard she tries to stay mature, it’s so hard. Despite everything that has happened, her soul has always been that of a child, filled with wonder and amazement over the many things of the worlds. ‘You’re so pw’etty!’

‘’Why thank you.’ The fox says, brushing a paw along one of its three tails.

‘Mr. Fox,’ Ichigo says, ‘do you know how Nelliel can get her mask fixed?’ It’s worth a shot, Ichigo thinks. Besides, the trail of stardust has bought them this far.

‘Perhaps.’ The fox says, lighting its pipe and squinting its eyes at Nelliel. ‘Though it is never the same, when things from this side interact with that.’ Both Ichigo and Nelliel pretend not to be vastly confused. ‘And what of you, young one?’

Ichigo blinks. ‘What… of me?’ He turns to Nelliel, who has decided to wander around the fox. ‘What’s wrong with me?’

Nelliel shrugs. ‘Dunno. W’ou seem fw’ine t’wo me.’

‘Your soul is shattered.’ The fox explains. ‘Broken. Incomplete. Yet done with purpose. Damaged with precision, patience, intent. When cultivated as is, you may become the perfect weapon, an unstoppable war machine in the wake of anything that may come your way. But nay, the soul should never be like that, oh so painful. Weeping in silent torment, begging for it all to stop. Until eventually, it will. And then there will be nothing left.’

‘How can you fix it?’ Ichigo asks.

He doesn’t understand half of what the fox has just said, but none of it sounds good. One look at a worried Nelliel tells Ichigo she thinks the same thing. A broken soul is bad news.

What would it do to him, in the end? Would he turn into a monster, like the one that killed his mum? Or would it happen in his lifetime? Before death? How had it even broken in the first place? To think, not only moments ago Ichigo had never even thought about his soul at all.

‘I cannot fix it, nor can I explain how you can fix it.’ The fox says. ‘But I can give you the information both of you need to find your way, for the right price.’

Ichigo searches his pyjama pockets for loose change, while Nelliel tries to give the fox her... saliva?

O-kay.

Fortunately, Ichigo has seen stranger things.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any money on him.

‘Human currency has little to no value on this side.’ The fox says. ‘The feather of a Phoenix, however…’

Ichigo brings a hand up to his hairpin, wonders how on earth his mum got her hands on something a kitsune would find valuable enough for their trade. He’s reluctant to trade away such a valuable treasure that means so much to him, but then he _realises_.

‘Oh.’

‘Nu-uh!’ Nelliel protests. ‘We can fw’ind somethw’ing ew’se! Tha’s Ichi’s spw’ecial hai’w’p’n an’ it’ not fw’or w’ou!’

‘It’s okay, Nelliel.’ Ichigo says, pulling the hairpin away from his hair and silently giving it his last goodbye. ‘Mum… she knew. I dunno how, but she knew I’d need it someday… and that day is today.’ He hands the hairpin to the fox.

It’s strange, letting the hairpin leave his fingers for the last time. He should feel sad, to lose one of the most treasured things his mum had ever given him, but instead he feels calm. Like every time he has worn the item, every day he treated it with care, has lead up to this moment. It feels right, like he is returning the item to its rightful owner.

Well, it felt right. Right up until the fox shrugs and says; ‘Just follow the trail of stardust, it will guide you both towards the answers you seek.’

If looks could kill, Ichigo would be a wanted murderer and Nelliel his body mutilating accomplice.

‘That’s… what we were doing.’ He says instead, jumping quickly to prevent Nelliel from ramming her head into the fox.

When the fox smiles, it is with the cunningness of, well, a fox. ‘Well, that’s good then.’ It says. ‘But there is one more thing you need to know. Ichigo Kurosaki, Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck.’

Nelliel stops her half-hearted attempt at an attack. ‘How did w’ou know our n’wames?’

‘We never told you.’ Ichigo realises, going tense. He may be young, but he is not unknowing of the dangers of the world.

The fox gives nothing away but a knowing smile, continuing; ‘*There is no such thing as a coincidence in this world, there is only the inevitable.’

Neither Ichigo nor Nelliel have any idea what that means.

* * *

The second being they come across on their journey is human. At least, Ichigo thinks he is.

It’s one of the Yakuza folks that worship the ground he walks on, an act that at first was confusing, but eventually became just another fact of his abnormal life. So, all in all it really isn’t a surprising encounter.

Ichigo tries not to feel too ashamed that he doesn’t know the man’s name, especially when said man looks up from his spot standing tall and guarding a giant gateway (that was definitely not there on the way home from school, woah). The man positively beams at the sight of him, grinning from ear to ear and abandoning his position of guarding the gate to greet them, tossing away his sword as he does so.

Nelliel waves happily at the man.

The man looks surprised by Ichigo’s companion, but waves back nonetheless.

Ichigo thinks he should tell the man about the strange stag-being that snuck in through the gate the second he left his post but decides that the man is far too happy to see him to ruin the good mood. Besides, it’s probably nothing.

(Yeah right. Ichigo should know by now that ‘probably nothing’ ends up meaning ‘definitely something’ in every major event of his life. Not that he’s had many. Yet.

Now isn’t that just foreboding?)

The man pulls both Ichigo and Nelliel into a great big hug, spinning them around a couple of times before placing them down on the ground again. Nelliel is twirling around in dizzy circles at the abruptness of it all, and Ichigo isn’t doing much better. They’re both grinning from ear to ear, though, because being welcomed in such a way is amazing.

‘So, what does young Ichigo-sama want to go into the world beyond for?’ The man asks, grinning from ear to ear. It’s a friendly grin, though.

‘We’re going on a super awesome amazing adventure!’ Nelliel declares.

It surprises Ichigo, just how much Nelliel has changed from when they began their journey less than an hour ago. As though the exploration and adventure involved is drawing out the side of herself she hadn’t wanted to show, too busy grieving the loss of her friends.

Or perhaps it’s just that the events of the night have provided a good distraction for her.

Either way, she’s happy. Ichigo’s parental instincts are appeased for the time being.

‘We’re following a trail of stardust.’ Ichigo explains. ‘It goes up to the gate. Mister, what’s on the other side?’

‘Oh!’ The man says. ‘This ol’ thing?’ He gestures to the gate with his thumb. Once both Nelliel and Ichigo nod, he continues; ‘Ehh, it’s a place where spirits gather- like, not _the dead_ spirits, but the _other ones_.’

Ichigo stares at the man blankly, he doesn’t seem to notice. Instead continuing;

‘But there’s a rule about foreigners, pretty sure someone up top is a little sour about the westerners and their gods still. That’s why I’m here, guarding the entrance. And because the lazy bastard that was supposed to be on night shift never showed up, bah.’

‘That’s not very responsible of them.’ Ichigo empathises. And then, respectfully; ‘May we enter? Please.’

The man looks shocked at the thought of having to be asked. He bows, hands and knees to the ground and all. Ichigo is used to that, too.

‘You needn’t ask! Young Ichigo-sama bares the mark of a great deity and shall be granted entrance.’

‘And what about my friend Nelliel?’

‘Y’weah!’ Nelliel pipes up. ‘What aboutst f’wend Nel- New’iew!’

The man squints at her, eyes judging. ‘You are not of this land.’ He says eventually. ‘But I don’t get paid enough for this shit, anyway, so go ahead, kiddo.’

Ichigo and Nelliel share a look of excitement.

‘Yay!’

* * *

Ichigo doesn’t have any time to take in his surroundings before the stag-being snatches Nelliel away and disappears. He cries out, attempting to grasp thin air where his companion had been. Something in his stomach churns like butterflies, instinct flaring. Someone took what is _his_ to protect, and Nelliel could very well be in danger.

He needs to find her.

To do that, he needs to search for clues.

Right.

He moves throughout the streets, trying not to startle at every strange being he comes across. The realm beyond the gate seems as though it is lost in time, filled ancient buildings and traditions. There are many beings roaming the streets, some more human in appearance than others.

It’s _amazing!_ Ichigo thinks he should feel terrified in this strange new world, but there is far too much awe at the sights around him. He wants to explore, to see everything there is to see in this place of legend. Unlike the ghosts he sees on a daily basis, there are many tales of Yōkai, Ayakashi, of spirits of old and beings of worship.

But the meaning of those tales has been lost on many humans, told only as children’s stories or studied for deeper meaning. His mum had told those tales to him, read them as bedtime stories every night, knowing.

_This_ is what all of those stories mean. They are warnings, explanations of the unknown. Told from ages past where it was common to stumble across such beings.

Ichigo is only eleven years old (twelve in five days!), and it is very hard to contain the wonder and excitement of a child when faced with such a new and incredible change in reality. Despite having been able to see ghosts all his life, this is a world of wonder.

Ichigo isn’t used to feeling wonder, spending most of his days pretending to be older than he really is. Forced to mature for the sake of his sisters, who need a parental figure more than anything. He doesn’t know how to handle what he feels, the excitement seeming to consume his very being.

So he does what any child faced with such feelings would do, and shouts.

‘THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!!’

‘Ohoho! Now what do we have here?’

Uh-oh. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that.

Ichigo turns to the owner of the voice, deep and raspy. Kinda like sandpaper. Now, he doesn’t want to dive into stereotypes, because he’s just discovered this new realm and if living with Isshin has taught him anything, it’s that someone can _think_ something appears a certain way, but it is in fact _completely different._

Case in point; Isshin _thinking_ that a kick to the head is a perfectly acceptable morning alarm. It really isn’t.

But that’s an issue to tackle in another part of this series. Right now, Ichigo is staring at a red, ridiculously bulky Oni and trying really hard not judge a book by its cover. But the way Oni is looming over him, grin vicious and bloodthirsty, he thinks that just this time it might be acceptable to judge a demon based on the accompanied portrayal on TV shows.

‘I smell human. Haven’t had a taste in years.’

Yeeeeeeeah, Ichigo needs to run. Now.

The Oni doesn’t let him.

* * *

Nel- _Nelliel_ , she reminds herself. She can’t be _Nel_ anymore. _Nel_ is young and naïve, unable to fight nor protect. She can’t go back to being that, should never have become _Nel_ in the first place, despite having been unable to do anything against her betrayal.

But it’s hard, because only as _Nel_ has Nelliel ever felt complete.

She laughs, though it comes out as more of a sob. And what had being Nel cost her, in the end?

‘Why do you cry, young one?’

Nelliel blinks up at the one that has kidnapped her. If she had any knowledge on modern culture, she would have connected the being to be commonly portrayed form of Satan, with the face of an animal and body of man. A beast of blood and darkness. A monster of lies and deceit, hidden carefully behind a façade of welcoming love and friendliness. That is the conclusion many would come to.

Others may think Wendigo, a being with antlers and ribs showing through skin. Following a constant, all-consuming hunger as it sniffs out human meat to devour, if only to ease the maddening hunger for just one moment.

Nelliel, however, recognises only one thing in the being. Which is good, because it is neither the Devil nor Wendigo. Excitedly, she gestures up at her mask.

‘W’our w’ike me!’

‘Almost!’ The being agrees happily. ‘While you have horns, I have antlers. But young one, that does not mean you are no less one of mine! You are of nature, and thus you are kin.’

‘U-wuah!’ Nel- _Nelliel_ agrees, despite not knowing what the being is talking about. They’re kin, she supposes, in mask if not anything else. ‘What’s w’our name, m’w’ister?’

The being puffs his chest out proudly, bringing a hand to his chest to pose. ‘I am Cernunnos, god of the hunt! The forest is my domain, and fertility and lust are my game!’

Nelliel stares at the god. She squints. When the words click she gags.

‘Eww.’

‘Ah!’ Cernunnos exclaims. ‘But you are young, and surely must not understand such wonders of the world. But do not worry, young one, for when puberty hits-’

‘I’m nw’ot young!’ Nelliel cuts in, almost shouting. Hollow’s have no need for things like _the talk_ , but Pesche and Dondochakka were more than just Hollows, and even in her stronger form she’d never felt the instinct and desire they spoke about. It had been a complete waste of time. Sex had never been appealing to her.

And having _that_ conversation once was more than enough to last a lifetime (deathtime?). She really didn’t want to go through it again.

‘Then you do not age?’ Cernunnos asks, aghast.

‘I do!’ Nelliel says. ‘B’wut my mask is cw’acked, so I cw’an’t get strong enow’gh to be big agw’ain!’

Cernunnos sits down in front of her, gently reaching out to inspect her mask. Eyebrows furrowed, he says; ‘That will not do! Your death power- ah, reiatsu I believe- is leaking out… There is a thing called Super Glue… but I do not think that will be effective… There is something different… Nay, this type of damage cannot be repaired.’

‘But!’

‘I wonder… young one, if I may ask a rather imposing question?’ Nelliel gives him a suspicious, disgusted look. ‘Not like that!’

‘Ok’way.’

‘You are Hollow, yet you do not seem so. Do you have a hole?’

Nelliel frowns at the question, realising that she has to think about it. When she was just a Hollow, before Aizen came along, there had been a hole in her chest, albeit a small one. As an Arrancar…

‘I th’wink it dissapeaw’d when I evow’ved.’ She says after some thought.

‘I see, that is rather promising. And why do you want your power back?’

It shouldn’t be a difficult question to answer, it really shouldn’t be. But, there’s something about Cernunnos’ posture, the thoughtful look on his face, that makes her think about the answer. What does she want, really? It’s not to fight. And despite her desire to protect, she doesn’t want to become a _protector_ , not like Ichigo seems to be. Really, all she wants is peace.

‘You seem to be thinking about it.’ Cernunnos says, smiling. ‘That’s good. You have a young soul, in a young body. But do remember that no matter what form you take, you can still be whoever you want to be.’

‘I just- want to be Nel.’ Nelliel admits. ‘I never wanted to fight. But war will eventually come, and when it does I _need_ to be able to fight.’

It takes until after she has finished admitting the words to realise that while before, Cernunnos towered over her, she now stands at equal height with the being. Her breath hitches, inspecting the changes from arm to foot. She’s _big_ again, the former third Espada in all her glory.

But something feels different. There is an energy growing inside of her, strong and powerful and _hers_ , but it isn’t all reiatsu.

Tentatively, she brings a hand to her mask. Before it was smooth and flat, par the details etched into it, and merged with the skin underneath. Inseparable and a permanent reminder of her origins as a Hollow. Now the mask feels… real. Detachable, though she doesn’t want to remove it.

She turns to Cernunnos, questions ready at the tip or her tongue.

‘The scull of a goat.’ The god explains. ‘Rarely does the realm of mythos interact with the realm of the deceased in such ways, and things are never the same when they do. But your intent is pure, and so this realm has deemed you worthy of its power- or, more-so it has given you the means to access that power.’

‘I have no idea what that means.’

Cernunnos grins. ‘Nor do I! But remember, coincidence does not exist in any realm, only the inevitable.’

‘Ehh.’ New power notwithstanding, that doesn’t make it any less confusing. ‘That’s like what the fox said.’

‘Oh did it now? What a wise fox! Now run along now, you have a friend to find, don’t you?’

Nel grins. ‘Yeah!’ She moves to leave, but pauses, hesitating. Before she can think too much about it, she pulls Cernunnos into a hug. ‘I dunno what you did but thank you so much!’

* * *

The Oni drags him away from the crowded streets and into a secluded alleyway before stopping. At least, Ichigo thinks, this means that killing random humans is frowned upon. Probably. Maybe.

Or else the Oni just likes to be really private about his killings.

Either way, Ichigo is beginning to panic. Nelliel was taken, and he promised he would help her. And what about Yuzu and Karin? He’ll be gone, no body to be found. He needs to be there to protect them- to raise them!

It doesn’t take much to imagine what would happen when they realise he disappeared into the night, never to come home. Yuzu and Karin would be distraught, and maybe Isshin would be too. But then their father would turn his attention to the twins, take up giving them the wakeup call usually reserved for the eldest, directing cruel word after word after _word_ at Yuzu, and the flames fuelled by Karin, who will never back down against the man.

Without him there to protect her from the _words_ … Ichigo doesn’t want to think of how Yuzu would cope with that, nor does he want to think about how Karin would react. But he does, because his sisters are his world and without him… he needs to be there to protect them!

The last though in his head before something hard and heavy smashes into his skull is worry for his sisters.

* * *

And then he wakes up.

Only to come face to face with a mask, resembling the one the monster that killed his mum wore, and Nelliel’s both. This one is black, though, while the figure attached to it is almost completely white and humanoid.

So this is his afterlife, huh? To be devoured by a monster. Well okay then, he isn’t going to go down without a fight.

Determined, he decides to play dirty and kicks the monster where no being with male anatomy ever deserves to be kicked.

**_‘Gah!’_** The monster growls, throwing its hands up into the air, putting distance between itself and Ichigo in the process. **_‘I just woke up and- the fuck is wrong with ya?’_**

_‘There is nothing wrong with him.’_

Ichigo squints up at the other person, in doing so also realising that he’s sitting on the window of a skyscraper. It doesn’t surprise him. Really, nothing does anymore. Screw gravity.

At first glance, the other being is a blur of flames. Then a figure forms, an aged man clad all in black. Woah, badass.

‘Who are you?’ Ichigo asks, completely forgetting about the monster. But the old man doesn’t seem all that worried about the masked being, so maybe it isn’t a monster after all?

_‘I am Za-’_

**_‘Nu-uh! I ain’t lettin’ ya pretend ta be me, ol’ man!’_ **

Was it just Ichigo, or was there hurt and desperation in the masked one’s voice? (He’s not going to refer to it-him-them? as a monster anymore, Ichigo isn’t dead yet… Actually, he probably is dead, but not because of the masked one.)

Ichigo turns to the masked one. ‘What’s your name?’

**_‘Hah!’_** The masked one laughs, gleeful. **_‘I’m Zangetsu! Yer Zanpakuto spirit, completed with a hint o’ Hollowfication.’_**

‘I have no idea what any of that means.’ Ichigo admits. ‘But it’s nice to meet you, Zangetsu!’

**_‘Ya can ‘ear my name… but yer don’t have any idea?’_ **

‘Nope.’

**_‘How are ya here then?’_ **

_‘We’re dead.’_ The old man cuts in.

**_‘WHAT?’_ **

‘Yup.’ Ichigo agrees. ‘Eaten by an Oni- well, it was planning on eating me.’

**_‘Ya mean a Hollow, right?’_ **

‘Nope.’

_‘Ichigo.’_ The old man says. _‘This is your soul. Zangetsu is a manifestation of your Soul Reaper powers.’_

‘I still have no idea what that means.’ Ichigo admits. ‘But who are you, mister?’

_‘I am…’_ And suddenly the old man is shifting forms again, from male to female, and then to… a white wolf. Woah, what? _‘…Amaterasu.’_

**_‘Pfft.’_** Zangetsu laughs. **_‘Ya readers totally thought ‘e was going ta be a Quincy or somethin’, didn’t ya?’_**

‘Wha…?’

**_‘Nothin’!’_ **

Ichigo shrugs, turning his attention to Amaterasu again. He’s heard the name before in the stories his mum used to read to him. ‘So how did you get into my soul?’

Amaterasu coughs, and it sounds suspiciously like she said _a bet_.

Ichigo has to admit that this is the strangest thing he has ever come across, but it still doesn’t surprise him. As he watches Zangetsu bicker with Amaterasu about _invading their soul how rude_ , a lightbulb goes off above his head. Woah, apparently having an epiphany in his soul means the lightbulb is literal. Awesome.

‘So this is my soul.’ He says, more-so to himself but gathering the attention of the other two nonetheless. ‘And the fox said my soul was broken… is that because I didn’t know about you two? Or is it because I didn’t _know_ and _haven’t accepted_ two parts of my own soul?’

Amaterasu doesn’t say anything.

**_‘Wait, King, the wolf ain’t part of-’_** Zangetsu’s warning is cut off.

‘Awesome! It doesn’t matter where you’ve come from of what you are, I accept both of you!’

And then the world explodes. Of course it does.

* * *

The Oni doesn’t know what happened. One minute its preparing to devour the most delicious meal in front of it, singing a little tune as it contemplates the spices that need to be used with such a delicacy.

The next there is a flash, a flare of power, and something is crouching over the bloodied, dead body of its prey. And in the moment after that, the _something_ is clawing and gouging the Oni’s insides. But the Oni doesn’t know that much, it died the moment it’s head was sliced off from behind.

Ichigo removes his claws from the Oni he is crouched over, attention turned to the next potential threat, growl ready in the back of his throat. Only, it isn’t a threat at all. He’d recognise that green hair anywhere!

‘Nelliel!’

She seems saddened, but at his voice calling her name, she brightens. Grinning, she pulls him into a tight embrace. ‘Ichigo! I got my powers back!’

‘And I fixed my soul! Nelliel, I fixed my soul!!!’ Ichigo grins.

‘Yay!’ Nelliel pauses. ‘Can you call me Nel?’

‘Sure? Nel!’

Nel’s embrace tightens further. ‘Awesome.’

‘Awesome.’ Ichigo agrees. And then realises something he should have realised sooner. His body is right behind them.

Oh yeah, that means he’s dead. That’s not good either. Eww, his body is all gross and bloody.

He might have gone into panic, if not for Nel’s next words.

‘Don’t worry, you can just hop straight back in!’ There’s a pause. ‘Well, I’m pretty sure you can. Maybe.’ Another pause. ‘Hopefully?’

Nel gives him an encouraging, if not sceptical look, and that’s what prompts Ichigo to move over to his body. Once looming over the bloodied, but actually pretty well off (if one considers the massive head would to be ‘well off’) body, Ichigo realises one crucial fact.

He’s changed, his soul is whole when it was once shattered and broken. Because of this, his mind has altered to take on the other parts of his being. So has his body, apparently.

‘Err..’ Ichigo starts. ‘I don’t think I’m gonna fit.’

(Not far away, Cernunnos snickers. A local kappa notices him sneaking about, and they hit it off rather swimmingly.)

‘Of course you will!’ Nel encourages.

For the first time since waking up, Ichigo looks down at his hands. His skin is as white as snow, and claws as black as the night. Tribal markings trace across his body, underneath and amidst the seemingly random, yet strangely regal, spots of blood red fur. His hair is a mane. Too long to be manageable, alive and ready to lash out with the power of the sun itself.

There is a hole in his chest, just like the thing that killed his mum. A part of him wants to snarl, bare too-sharp teeth and get lost in the endless hunger hidden in the pit of his stomach. But wizened by a soul completed by the lady Amaterasu and his own Zangetsu (maddened by the hollow he may be), he knows not to act on that urge, for now.

If he does, he will become just like the monster that killed his mum.

But instincts are nothing new to Ichigo. He has always had the instinct to protect.

Moving limbs far too long, stretched out and lanky in a way that is nothing but a combination of monstrous and ethereal, Ichigo makes note to ask Nel how she copes with the hunger.

But firstly, he needs to figure out how to fit back into his most definitely dead body so he can go back to his sisters. He looms over the pale corpse for a moment, batting his ridiculously long hair out of his eyes.

Yeah, nope. There’s no way he’s fitting into that.

‘Err…’ Nel starts. ‘Maybe just… think about what you used to look like real hard?’

Ichigo blinks, resisting the urge to scratch his ears. It makes absolutely no sense, but the reality of the situation is sinking in and he’s willing to try anything.

Yuzu and Karin don’t have the same ability to see spirits as he does, though Karin does sometimes see blurs, and he needs to be with them. If he can’t get back into his body, they will never see him again. They won’t even know what happened to him.

He tries what Nel suggested. He closes his eyes, pictures what he looked like less than an hour before, and then _breathes._ His form shifts. Flesh, bones and muscles morphing as he focuses on what he used to be.

It seems to have worked, but as soon as he is about to shout excitedly, his concentration slips, and he is once again bestial.

But Ichigo is nothing but determined. He tries again, and again. He keeps on trying until the only thing that shows his soul has changed is the hole in his chest and the fire in his eyes. Both things that have always been there, metaphorically, and have now become a part of his strange reality. It doesn’t really surprise him that he can hide neither of the things.

Nel must have cleaned up his body while he was busy, because there is no blood to be seen on his face. He’ll have to get rid of the shirt though, because blood stains and white fabrics? Yeah, not happening, he isn’t _that_ good at washing clothes. And there’s no way he’s going to explain any of this to Yuzu.

Idly, Ichigo wonders what will happen once he shoves his soul back into his dead body. If there are any repercussions. None of the spirits he’s ever seen before have been able to go possess their own bodies. Maybe there’s a reason for that?

Oh well, guess he’ll find out.

It’s a mild surprise to Ichigo when it works.

Nel just grins and declares; ‘It’s alive!’

* * *

Nel follows Ichigo back to his house, the sun only just beginning to rise in the distance. When she found Ichigo’s body, bloody and dead, she had been enraged. But then Ichigo turned into some kind of Hollow-but-not creature, and all was okay.

Now, Nel wonders what will come next. Their adventure is over, their goals achieved. It makes her want to cry, the inevitable departure that will occur once they reach the bedroom window. She sniffles, trying to hold back tears.

She hadn’t thought she would have to say goodbye.

Ichigo must be able to read her thoughts, because he turns to her with the biggest grin. ‘My birthday is in four days, I’ll be twelve then. Father won’t be home, so come help me and my sisters make a cake, yeah? And after that, too, you can come around whenever. Or before. _Whenever_.’

Nel smiles. ‘Awesome!’

Turns out she was jumping to conclusions.

(When Ichigo’s birthday comes around, it will be the best birthday party ever, for all four of them. Yuzu won’t be able to see Nel, Karin will see a green blur, but both twins will be aware enough of her presence to move around her, and Nel will help bake a cake with the twins and Ichigo.

They will all happily devour the cake as Ichigo tells the twins of his latest adventure. Nel will give her own comments here and there, and Ichigo will happily repeat them.

Then they will go on to play all sorts of card games. Nel has never played Uno or Go Fish before, but it will be so much fun. Before the day ends the twins will even call her Nel-nee-chan!

Then, from deep within her soul, Pesche and Dondochakka will smile at the family their master has found.)

* * *

Meanwhile, Isshin stares at the spirit in front of him, mouth agape. His powers are already returning, but how?

Then he shrugs. He'll worry about it later.

**Author's Note:**

> Folklore is a lot of fun to research, mainly because it always changes depending on where you look. I took a lot of inspiration from all over to write this fic, then went meh, bugger it, have a fox, stag and wolf. What even is creativity?  
> The fox is a kitsune, I suppose. Not much more to add to that.  
> Cernunnos is a god found in celtic folklore, and while there are a few variations of what he is perceived as, it is commonly a Master of the Hunt, along with fertility and vegetation.  
> Amaterasu, in Japanese mythology and the Shinto Religion, is the goddess of the sun. The main inspiration and depiction of how Amaterasu was portrayed is taken from the video game Okami, which I am contemplating making this series a crossover with mainly because of how much I'm basing certain characters off of it.  
> It was a spur of the moment decision to make 'old man Zangetsu' something other than... ahem... Quincy, but the thought stuck. Things like the local Yakuza worshipping Ichigo will be further explained more in other parts of the series, and the next part will be focused more on Yuzu and Karin.  
> *'There is no such thing as coincidence in this world, there is only the inevitable'- Quote from xxxHolic. In this case the author used it as an excuse to cover up how convenient the whole plot was.


End file.
